The Blackboard of Misfortune

tedthejinglebellhop:

fun fact one time robert pattinson was supposed to get punk’d at the bar where my cousin works and they got all the employees in on it and everything but when it came time to punk him his friends couldn’t get him to leave his house and that’s when I knew I loved robert pattinson

bewwbs:

how to get girls to like you:

  1. compliment their eyebrows
  2. eat them out

I am from sun tea and Hot Tamales on even hotter days
Pockets heavy with throwing rocks and pennies flattened by trains
I am from roasted marshmallows and illegal fireworks

I am from propellers and ailerons,
Lift and drag,
Doing homework in hangers
I am from learning what flight tastes like

I am from redwood trees and salt flats,
Small tents and long hikes
Ranger talks wrapped in blankets
I am from leave no trace

I am from dog-eared and highlighted books
The turning of pages a lullaby
I am from more places than I have ever been
And more people than I have ever met

I am from cigarette smoke and the beep of an oxygen concentrator
“Get back here”
“You look like a boy”
“Just comb your goddamn hair”
And “get me some more whiskey”
I am from silence and excuses but never action

I am from anger and sadness
Discovering cancer and death
Wanting to vomit learning of a friend’s assault
Learning of a friend’s suicide
I am from “it will get better”

I am from grief and acceptance
Remembering how to breathe,
How to get through the day
I am from smiling again
I am from “it got better”

I am from simple meals shared and contagious laughter
Early morning phone calls
And late night haircuts turned transformations
I am from Stairway to Heaven and American Pie

I am from Thursday afternoons with Italian flashcards and garlic roasting in the kitchen
Lamb on Easter and latkes for Hanukkah
I am from 22 point hands, last minute pegging and skunks
From “you can be on my team” and “it’s on”
From “Star Trek or Star Wars? Original or Next Gen?”
I am from family, the one I was given and the one I have made

this was an english assignment i decided to have fun with

merriamwebsterdictionary:

reasons why winter is better than summer:

  • little to no insects (◕‿◕✿) 
  • sweaters all the time (◠△◠✿)
  • the air is nice and fresh smelling (◡‿◡✿)
  • sometimes it snows and you get out of school \(◕‿◕✿)/
  • snow is pretty (´・ω・`)
  • no pollen (▰˘◡˘▰) 
  • it gets darker faster so theres more nighttime and more time to look at the stars (ᅌᴗᅌ* )
  • everything is dead just the way i like it (⊙‿⊙✿)

janefoster:

basically my life can be summed up in alternating periods of Linda Belcher’s “Alriiiiight!” and Bob Belcher’s “Oh my god”

stopfilmingmedickhead:

bananagirlworld16:

okay but why don’t more people talk about Night at the Museum like

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poc characters and people being portrayed by poc people

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this movie is so good

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and it has one of the funniest, best, most ridiculous friendships in movie history

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and you have Robin Williams as Teddy Roosevelt I mean

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and if all that didn’t convince you there’s also a t-Rex skeleton that plays fetch with one of its own ribs

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THIS MOVIE

AND THE JONAS BROTHERS!

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flubberwurm:

Adam Pascal and Jesse L. Martin, in costume for RENT backstage at the Nederlander Theatre

(photos taken from this gorgeous book: (x))

queenmerbabe:

queerpoc:

cleolinda:

cinematicnomad:

apparently e.l. james called former child star mara wilson (matilda) a “sad f**k” for critiquing the 50shades books a while ago and now there’s a feud. i love it.

I have a love for her that runs deep.

falloutboy:

GSHS were banned from playing ‘thnks fr th mmrs’ at their games so we brought them to MONUMENTOUR in Scranton to play with us instead.  

falloutboy:

GSHS were banned from playing ‘thnks fr th mmrs’ at their games so we brought them to MONUMENTOUR in Scranton to play with us instead.  

vi9:

slaughterhouse-ninetwofive:

albinwonderland:

ediebrit:

oh my fucking god

huge fucking trigger warning but oh my god

shots. fucking. fired.

No…no… Comedy central unfortunately hit the nail on the year and just ouch

lesjouetsdudestin:

lesjouetsdudestin:

how would mickey introduce himself with in spanish

soy milkovich

vivency:

humansofnewyork:

A glimpse into the journal of a (quite intelligent) 16 year old girl. Photographed, with permission, in Central Park. 

ITS ON MY DASH AGAIN I THOUGHT I LOST IT FOREVER

vivency:

humansofnewyork:

A glimpse into the journal of a (quite intelligent) 16 year old girl. Photographed, with permission, in Central Park. 

ITS ON MY DASH AGAIN I THOUGHT I LOST IT FOREVER

(blah)g?

stillstreet:

is this a tumbl? am I blogging? I saw a chat button as I was about to type this. does that mean we talk? i am online, on the internet, and my mom’s using the land line at the same time!